Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
