WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
two words: eviction party
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
