they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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