If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
