Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
