Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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