Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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