i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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