Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
