ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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