I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
