I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
