I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
