i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
