everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
