conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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