I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
