I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This is the high leading the old right now
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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