and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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