I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize