love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
