She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
