I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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