I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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