its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
