I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
