I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's always time for handjobs
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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