You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
