Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
