Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
