he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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