shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We got so high we made milksteak
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize