Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize