Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
