He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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