I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
