What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
