I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
