The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
