mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
