I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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