I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
