oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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