I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
