I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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