My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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