I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
