I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
