I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
