i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
