I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
