What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
