The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
