yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
