I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize