Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
