Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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