i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize