My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
