No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
