If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
