I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize