How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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