I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
