For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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