no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
