So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
